Black women are hauled over the white hot coals of racism and sexism on a regular, in real life and especially online, where the trolls spew their anonymous venom. We’re called everything from ugly to cum dumpsters. White men call us far worse. Even the president of the United States got in on it. And when it happens, very few show up for us.
So I am truly conflicted to even highlight yet another black woman getting verbally socked on the internets, especially for her mothering skills, which is a job both sacred and a hard as fuck. For. So. Many. Reasons. For all the reasons. We are raising children in a country that has continually attacked our bodies and our dignity, and we often drown in forces beyond our control.
That is the reality of black mothering—under attack since the Moynihan years.
But damn, Draya, baby girl, in the words of Next, you’re making it hard for me.
The former Basketball Wives LA star got online and posted a since deleted post about being sick of hearing about her son’s homework. And how boring it was. And how she threw a hissy fit and wouldn’t sign a paper, so her son lost points on his grade.
Now, we know this child is not the sharpest heel in the closet, but if I rolled my eyes any harder they would go zombie white.
Read and weep:
“She has him harassing me” to sign a paper. A mother. pic.twitter.com/wEwTGZ2o85
— K (@BRedLove) December 8, 2017
Now this fool did ask “What y’all think?” so she kinda asked for it.
Oh, and she got it.
Draya had time to give us a step by step video of how she made every nasty thing she cooked for Thanksgiving, but not enough time to sign her son’s homework.
— OprahAllIDoIsWinfrey (@JediMassaYoda) December 8, 2017
And Draya has heard that speech every night for a month and still has no idea what it’s about. How American history isn’t prevalent in college? Bruh I ain’t even heard that shit and I already know that’s not what it’s about because WUT
— Beyonce has an uncle named Larry Beyince. Bruh…. (@DragonflyJonez) December 8, 2017
Kid: “Mom, could you help me with my Homewor-“
— Jeaux Vaughn (@Joveezyy) December 8, 2017
Draya when Kniko asked her to sign his homework pic.twitter.com/k7O24dhGpB
— Jehovah Thickness (@moeshamitchel) December 8, 2017
Draya’s son: Mommy I need help on my homework
— 🅱️🅱️🅱️roke and Ashy (@olaoluwakiwms) December 8, 2017
What’s most disturbing is Draya hasn’t mastered the art of ignoring your kid without them knowing that you’re ignoring them. Like…
— bad girl kiki now (@KiaSpeaks) December 8, 2017
Draya’s kid doesn’t know how to forge signatures? These kids really done fell off. Lmaoooo
— not blocked by blowticious (@nigglysaurus) December 8, 2017
Some of it was funny, but some of it went beyond anything but straight misogynoir:
Draya is a perfect example of why you don’t actually impregnate or marry the airhead bottle girl skeezer that has nothing else going for her other than her looks. I hope orlando scandrick is ready. This is the type of bullshit he’s signing up for lmao
— cis lord problematic (@MacMaal_) December 8, 2017
Fuck that. Half these NFL and NBA players got shit loads of kids and don’t do shit for them. I’m not excusing her behavior, but I find it interesting how our community dumps on mothers on a regular, but fathers get all sorts of passes. If any commentary at all.
We know that Draya was a young mother, having her first kid at 17; the father of that child was incarcerated for 10 years while she was 7 months pregnant.
But I get it — she sounded crazy. Listening to a speech and signing a piece of paper seems like a very small thing to do for your child. And— the way she goes in on social media about her clothes, her hair, her food—but seemed too bothered to just listen to a damn speech (I mean, how many times have I read Caps for Sale?), seems selfish.
I don’t presume to have a lock on the secret to good mothering—God knows I feel the mother-guilt all mothers do—but I’ve learned a few things, and spending time with your children, regardless of if you’re bored, or want to be somewhere else, is a key to their well-adjusted development.
Lots of parents complain about homework – saying it’s excessive, and that’s a legitimate beef. But dummy, take that up with the teacher, not the whole world.
How y’all mad at Draya for not wanting to repeatedly sign a paper daily… that’s excessive. Give me a paper to sign weekly or something… and on top of that I don’t wanna hear the same damn speech a million times when the teacher only gone have to hear I.t once. FOH pic.twitter.com/KJl0R4llRB
— Aesthetics (@BlackBecky_) December 8, 2017
I’m sure Draya loves her kids but maybe just maybe this chin check will be the thing to at least assess some things about her parenting. Maybe it will allow her to sit back and really consider why people reacted so vociferously. Maybe she could take some parenting classes. No shame in that.
But I still have empathy for her because I know it’s hard being a black mother; I also know that black women are bullied on the regular—online and in real life— and I’m not down with it. In fact, I hate it.
source: the root