Shortly after embarrassing himself and the country by dissing Britain’s prime minister and calling the Russia investigation a witch hunt, President Trump met Queen Elizabeth while U.S. Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein announced indictments against 12 Russian spies for election meddling in the aforementioned witch hunt. All hell was breaking loose at the same time that protesters took to London’s streets and a fat Trump baby balloon took to the skies.
It’s all so mind-bogglingly bizarre, it’s hard to comprehend without prescription drugs.
Where to start? Hmmm. How about we start with the diss of British Prime Minister Theresa May, about whom Trump told British tabloid The Sun that “I actually told Theresa May how to do (Brexit), but she didn’t agree, didn’t listen to me.” Worse, the story broke in the middle of a dinner that May had graciously thrown for Trump at Blenheim Palace.
The ever-gracious Trump even showed up late, leaving the prime minister and her husband standing alone like schmucks. And that was before she even knew he was going to declare her a schmuck for not leading her country according to his advice. Then he apologized. Sort of. Like I said, prescription drugs required.
Apparently Trump doesn’t think The Sun publishes fake news — which is what he called CNN at a news conference in England in front of the world press. So much for respecting the free world’s free press.
But hey — it’s not all humiliating. Why, just before running off to meet the queen, Trump declared, “If you think of it, for so many years she (the Queen) has represented her country, she has really never made a mistake. You don’t see, like, anything embarrassing. She is just an incredible woman.”
Maybe he’s on prescription drugs himself, but what about the tawdry affair the incredible woman’s married son, Prince Charles, had with Camilla Parker Bowles? The prince even got nailed having phone sex with her, saying he wanted to be her tampon. Kill me. The only thing more embarrassing would be, say, getting outed for cheating on your wife with a porn star.
And what about then-married Fergie having her toes sucked by a Texan and later trying to sell unlimited access to ex-hubby Prince Andrew to a tabloid for $700G? Then there was Princess Diana giving birth to a son who looks exactly like the horse guy, and said horse guy (James Hewitt) trying to sell her letters after she died; Princess Margaret’s nude photos with a man who wasn’t her husband; Diana and Charles’ tawdry divorce amid extramarital affairs; Princess Anne’s husband allegedly having a baby with another woman; and Prince Harry displaying his royal jewels while apparently drunk in Vegas. For starters.
Trump is apparently the only person on earth who doesn’t see the incredible woman’s embarrassment.
Then there’s Trump’s upcoming meeting with Vlad the Impaler, now that his own Justice Department has declared that yes, there was tremendous interference by Russian agents in the presidential election.
Those charges include money laundering and attempts to break into state election boards and other political agencies, including hacking the Democratic congressional and DNC networks. It’s Watergate with computers. And Russians.
Trump would call off the Putin meeting, but I hear he really wants to see some tape or other of a guy with hookers peeing on the Obamas’ Russian hotel room bed.